Howard’s Eulogy For Greg

MY BROTHER, GREG

I have never known a kinder, more caring, or more talented human being than my brother, Greg. He provided more joy and more healing to others in his 33 years than most people could ever hope to be able to do in several full lifetimes, and the world is a much better place because of my brother’s daily contributions. We are all so fortunate to have been able to experience his many wonderful gifts.  

Greg, Judith, and I have been blessed to have wonderful parents, grandparents, and extended family. My parents have always provided the 3 of us with so much love and a beautiful daily example of how to care for others. Greg gave his family so much joy and so much love, and we are all so proud of him and the man that he was. Everyone in our family loved him dearly. There really are no words to adequately express just how special he was to me, to Judith, to David and Stacy, to my parents, to my daughters and Shelby, to all of us. 

Losing Greg is an immeasurable tragedy for his family, as well as for everyone else whose life has been blessed by Greg, and for everyone whose life would have been blessed by Greg in the years ahead. Right now, I am, and we all are, feeling deep sadness for Greg, sadness for people in my family, sadness for Greg’s friends, shock, confusion, guilt, and suffering. But the Greg that I knew for 33 years would never have wanted anyone to feel any of those things, and never would have wanted anyone to suffer. 

He may have developed an illness over the last few months that he was able to hide from all of us, until it was too late for us to be able to help heal him. Everyone who knew him has replayed conversations and re-examined words or actions looking for things that we might have been able to do to make a difference. But that search unfortunately isn’t going to change anything for Greg at this point. So, try not to do it. It’s not productive. I’m going to try not to do it eventually.

We are grieving, we are mourning, and we are sad. There’s a lot about Greg’s passing that we will never be able to make sense of. It’s not my place to teach today, but what I have been able to make sense of so far since Monday, and what I’d like to ask everyone to promise to do is:

  1. that no matter how strong we are, how strong we’ve conditioned ourselves or have been trained to be, please express clearly to your loved ones any pain and sadness that you might be feeling, as well as the depth of that pain and sadness
  2. that if you are ever experiencing depression, please let your loved ones know and let them help you, and please get professional help as well
  3. get a good night’s sleep so you’re able to function properly
  4. know that there is almost always a constructive way to get out of any bad situation that you might find yourself in—it may be painful and challenging and it may take some time, but don’t let yourself ever believe that there’s no way out
  5. cherish every moment of every day with your loved ones. They are a gift. Hug them, love them, tell them how much you love them. Even if you do it already, do it more. I feel so grateful to have my wife, my daughters, my parents, my sister, everyone else in my family and my friends. I will cherish every moment with them, and I will cherish my beautiful memories of Greg forever.

 

 

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